A long-term relationship will certainly experience arguments of various sizes, no matter how minor. After several arguments, you start to understand what is appropriate to say and what is wholly inappropriate. Many of them are simple to point out, and you can easily imagine how it would feel if they had said the same harsh words to you in the opposite circumstance. Although it makes great sense in theory, it’s simple for all of that to be forgotten in the heat of the moment. Let us guide you through some of the things you should not say to your partner during a fight.
Do Not Question Each Other’s Feeling
Your partner is put on the offense when you begin a sentence by inquiring about their emotions. This is a passive-aggressive method of expressing what you need. Additionally, this will make your partner feel it’s necessary to do something against their choice or as a means of expressing their love. Furthermore, when you say things like this, you’re putting your partner to the test, and they shouldn’t feel like they have to justify their love to you. Instead, speak to your partner honestly and in a way that strengthens your relationship rather than one that divides you.
Say something like, “I’d want to go out to dinner this weekend. I miss spending time with you.” With that wording, you’ll probably get what you want. It’s crucial to keep in mind that even in the thick of a disagreement, you and your partner are still a team and on the same side. This is why it’s never a good idea to ask, “Do you even love me?”
Don’t Blame Your Partner
Couples frequently argue about things that either one or both of you aren’t doing in the relationship. Yet, blaming one another, pointing fingers, or telling someone else they need to do something never helps. When someone demands action without first pausing to consider what went wrong, it might escalate a conflict. Not to mention how much it irritates the other person. Furthermore, even if you believe your partner is at blame, hold off on bringing it up right away. Instead, make an effort to explain it when the argument is done, and you both have calmed down. Additionally, use phrases like “It’d be incredibly beneficial if you did this” to convey your needs.
Never Ever Threaten Your Partner For Breaking Up
Most of the time, when we say hurtful things, we don’t even mean them. Trust can be damaged by hints of a breakup, especially if you repeatedly mention The End when you’re upset. Therefore, hold off saying this until you’re sure you want to increase the relationship difficulties. It’s not a good idea to simply say it to make a fight more intense. You’re not truly ready to end your relationship with them, which is why. Furthermore, saying those comments out loud in that manner will have a devastating effect on your relationship.
Therefore, it could be difficult to overcome this emotion. So, prevent things from getting to that stage. Furthermore, it’s never a smart idea to make important decisions when you’re feeling vulnerable and confused. Even if you’ve been unsure of the direction of your relationship, now is not the time to end things.
Do Not Abuse Each Other
You know it’s time to stop when you’re on the verge of slandering one another. Take a deep breath and consider another approach to the problem. Whether you believe the other person deserves it or not, it is still difficult to hear. Furthermore, it will surely cause the other person to retreat and shut down. Abuse is problematic since it’s a slippery slope. Maintain respect at all times. Additionally, you won’t realize how grave a mistake you made until the conflict is resolved. Humorously abusing your friends is far different from abusing your partner.
Do Not Target The Character Of Your Partner
Direct character attacks might be all too simple to use when disagreeing with a partner. Negative labels imply that your partner isn’t as aware, wise, or compassionate as you are. So you should resist that urge. Character assassinations and derogatory terms convey criticism and disrespect while also making the person feel horrible about themselves. When one feels devalued, connection and intimacy cannot happen. The other person feels less valued and more exposed as a result. Not to mention, it raises the conflict to a completely new level. They won’t ever be able to trust your judgments about them again, either. It won’t help to hit them where you know it will hurt the most.
Saying Nothing At All Can Also Make The Fight Intense
Being able to express oneself is crucial. If you don’t express your feelings to the other person, they will simply assume things that you probably wouldn’t say. Furthermore, you convey the wrong message if you abruptly quit the conversation because you aren’t willing to try and find a solution. Therefore, since you did not give them an option, don’t hold it against them if they believe otherwise. Additionally, keeping quiet while you’re truly upset can greatly aggravate your partner, which is enough to escalate the conflict. So, when an issue arises, do not ignore it. Either admit that something is upsetting you and find a solution, or completely ignore it. Don’t choose to be quiet.
Do Not Use Words Like Always Or Never
The other person becomes defensive when you start a complaint with “you always” or “you never,” and it is rarely accurate. Additionally, because it is a generalization, this is one of the things your partner should never say to you. This could also cast doubt on the times when you supported them. Most of the time, saying this to your partner can easily become an invitation to a quarrel. They would want to remind you of all the times they engaged in the behavior you are accusing them of ignoring. Using the word “Never” also minimizes whatever efforts and sacrifices they may have made to maintain your comfort and maintain the relationship.
Never Say Things That Will Help You Win An Argument
The aim of any dispute you have with your partner is not to “win” or silence them with the ideal reply. However, the goal is to arrive at a compromise and improve mutual understanding. So avoid approaching it with the intention of “winning.” Additionally, if your goal is to win the argument rather than find a solution to the issue, you won’t be able to hear or process information as well. It’s not worthwhile to try and convince others of your “rightness” or their “wrongness.” Furthermore, you won’t succeed if you concentrate more on presenting your argument than on comprehending your partner’s viewpoint. Paying attention to one another and keeping an open mind is crucial.
A relationship can’t always be blissful. You and your partner will certainly disagree on something at some point. Fighting isn’t much fun, but occasionally having a tough conversation is essential to effective communication. So, when you’re angry, you might not be as careful with your words. Therefore, remember not to use these remarks the next time you and your partner are fighting. It is very necessary for strengthening your relationship.